Tag Archives: Enter The Matrix

Don’t make me play – Warhammer 40K Fire Warrior

Don’t Make Me Play is where I take a game that I either suck at or just sucks itself and run through it. The first one was the highly competitive world of Street Fighter IV, which you can read here. Paul recently tried out the immensely complex E.V.E. Online, which you should also read from here. This is my second go, where I attempt to work my way through the singleplayer of a simply awful game, where everywhere you go there’s wise Asian voices and shitty gunplay It’s 2003. Video gaming as we know it is about to change forever….

Ninja Blade

I’m not sure, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what awaits me after death. I can see myself ascending into a silvery cloud land populated by an army of busty angel ladies, I will ride the golden escalator to the gates of Heaven. But then, as I step forward to enter paradise, a shadow will fall across my path. Then Jesus will back flip onto a huge cross, dark storm clouds will swirl overhead and he’ll reach back, ready to smite me into a million pieces. Then everything will stop and a message will appear: PRESS…