Patch Notes From God V2.1

By: Ed Fenning

Published: May 8, 2010 Posted in: Patch Notes From God, PC Gaming Nonsense

Patch notes on update v2.1 to game “Life

I only cry when it's you masturbating Mrs.Denkins


General

  • Fixed common bug of Banks always crashing.
  • Fixed error where 13-19 year olds would become overloaded with hormones.
  • Players can now understand language of other species than their own.
  • New server added. Players can now inhabit “Moon”
  • Improved loading time
  • Fixed David Copperfield physics exploit
  • Added console commands
  • Added 325406643 Achievements
  • Fixed various match making issues
  • Super Abilities re-introduced, but only for those who reach age 80
  • Fixed Religion exploits
  • Sugar now no longer corrodes teeth
  • Fixed human body failing past the age of 30
  • Meat plants and trees introduced
  • Games writing now a highly profitable and viable career
  • Changed Female Orgasm from 0_’false’ to 1_’true’

Map Changes

  • Israel and Palestine made to sit in opposite naughty corners
  • North Korea and South Korea seperated and placed either end of China
  • France removed and put on the moon
  • South America and Africa combined into a shape that kicks the crap out of Italy’s boot form
  • Greenland and Iceland have had their names correctly swaped
  • Chile renamed Hotie
  • Fixed glitch at Bermuda Triangle
  • Atlantis removed again
  • Fixed several map exploits
  • Fixed bug where Volcanoes would prevent flight

Versus Changes

  • Added HUD
  • Fixed instance where mines would stay on a map after a battle was over.
  • Made the following client commands cheat protected: “Kill” and “explode”
  • Increased admin privileges to kick tkers
  • Players can only change teams once per map
  • Players can’t change teams while other players are still loading
  • Tank spawns at the same % through the map for both teams in versus mode
  • 55 New weapons. Pistol damage and “coolness effect” increased.
  • Increased chance of injury survival
  • Fixed team swap issue
  • Nuclear Bombs no longer irradiate area. Damage reduced from “50,000,000″ to “1,000″.
  • After community suggestion; Defibrillator paddles now revive the dead no matter what injury, instead of stopping heart
Ed Fenning