GD Bloodbowl League – Week One

Okay gentlemen, the first week of the Gaming Daily Bloodbowl league is complete, and ahead of schedule too, the results are below. A write up mine and Pauls game follows later, so in the best traditions of Match of the Day if you don’t want to know the score look away now.

Results:

Eringrad Eagles (Chimp) 0:2 Bravescales (Mike)

The Philosorats (Dante) 2:1 Ultramegasaurus (Arsewisely)

Casual Cottagers (EGTF) 2:0 No Punt Intended (SAeN)

If any of the other participants want to describe their matches in the comments go ahead, I’m sure we’re all curious as to how Goblins managed to beat Chaos 2:0.

Fixtures:

I’ve turned the clock now, which means that ideally we’re looking to get the next round of games done by Monday. The next round of fixtures are as follows:

The Philosorats (Dante) vs Eringrad Eagles (Chimp)

Ultramegasaurus (Arsewisely) vs No Punt Intended (SAeN)

Bravescales (Mike) vs Casual Cottagers (EGTF)

Good luck everyone! (Except Chimp)

Match Report:

Paul – In other Blood Bowl leagues I’ve received such thorough spankings from Lizardmen teams that I’ve decided enough is enough.  It’s my turn to dole out the punishment and thus I’m going to play – nay – win (let’s be optimistic here) this league with my own team of scaly, lizardy brutes.  They seem to have all the basis covered: they’ve got agile little Skinks who can run quickly and dodge out of harm’s way, and Sauri who have the edge on most opponents when it comes to sheer muscle.  The problem is they lack special skills so ball handling and blocking may be a little tricky until my players start gaining experience.  Still, nothing a few re-rolls shouldn’t solve, I cheerily mused while compiling my team.  My misplaced optimism never ceases to amaze me.

Ah, Skaven. Good. A nice squidgy team to warm up my Sauri’s knuckles. I didn’t want to overcomplicate my game with fancy ‘tactic’ things. Keep it simple: break all his players. Then he won’t have any players, and I shall win. Dante had chosen a pretty flexible Skaven team but no rat ogre; I had the strength advantage and I was bloody well going to use it. I offered to kick first, having a pretty good idea that my respected opponent would want to get an early score in before I could inflict too much damage. I was perfectly prepared to let him if I could send a decent number of his rats hobbling off the pitch.

Tom – After the horrific violence that was visited upon my Dark Elf team in the warm up games I decided that, no matter who I played as (even Dwarves!) half my players always ended up dead or injured, so I decided to play as Skaven, where at least it was a natural part of their game.

My first match would be against one of the two Lizard teams in the league. Lizards are a little odd to play against, due to their polarised players, however I planned to use their lack of ball skills to my advantage, running the ball deep into their half and looking to pick up fumbles.

Paul decides to kick first, presumably hoping I’ll score early and he can grind me down. This immediately goes horribly wrong for him when he rolls a riot on the kick of table. Riots randomly change the game clock, in this case they immediately move us from turn one to turn three, meaning if I score in the standard Skaven two or three turns he’ll have a hard time snatching one for himself before the turn ends.

The kick also goes off the pitch, which lets me hand it to any player I like. Deciding to embrace the high risk nature of Skaven I ignore my thrower and hand it straight to a Gutter Runner, running the ball deep into Paul’s half. The other runners move up in support while my Linerats and Blitzers look to tie up the rest of his line. Sadly as I move the last runner he fails his dodge and ends up on the deck, ending my turn.

Paul – Fortune smiled and an early failed dodge gave me the chance to target his ball-carrying gutter runner, who had made an impertinent incursion into my half, a few squares from the endzone. I blitzed a Saurus, flooring the blighter; I moved in a Skink to retrieve the ball – a successful pick-up! (with the aid of a re-roll). Two things went right for me in a row and this made me a bit giddy; I made a stupid block (when less stupid blocks were available) resulting in a downed skink and a turnover. The Philosorats darted towards my ball Skink but failed to wrest the thing from him immediately – I should have made more of an effort to get him away from my endzone and back up the field but, well, didn’t; I was getting my priorities confused by this unexpected early success and was half trying to defend my ball carrier and half trying to inflict damage, but ultimately managing neither.

My ball carrier’s defence capitulated, unsurprisingly perhaps as it was made up of weakly Skinks and a single beefy Saurus, rather than all beefy Sauri which would have been a lot more sensible – the others were still messing about on the scrimmage line in the centre field trying and failing to cause any meaningful injuries. A gutter runner knocked out my ball skink and another grabbed the ball and scored. So far, the only injury was to my player. Yes, exactly what I had planned. Not!!!!!

Tom – Paul’s being a little harsh on himself here, most of his Saurus had been tied up by other players, and their sheer inability to dodge (Agility of 1!) meant they were forced to fight their man rather than run back and assist. Paul also actually has more players back in defence, one of whom is a Saurus, but careful positioning of tackle zones when blocking negates this. I manage to slide the ball carrier out of his cage with a push block before Prato knocks him down, allowing fellow Gutter Runner Neitszcheese to grab the ball from under the nose of a Saurus and run it in for a touchdown.

Perfect I get to kick off late in the game, forcing Paul to score in only three turns. Something Lizards aren’t great at what with their lack of passing ability.

Paul – With the restart, I skinked the ball up the pitch and began punching a few rats while assembling a cage around my ball carrier. Skaven went flying but none received any lasting damage. Grrr. Another of Tom’s Gutter Runners suffered a failed dodge turnover and I steeled myself for a mighty, hopefully rather violent, drive up field. In the process, I managed to KO a single Linerat, but my progress was tempered as rats flew in from all direction, needing to be punched off before I could make any ground.

(I’ve just discovered that I completely misunderstood the Skink’s ‘stunty’ ability which makes them just as able to dodge away from opponents, regardless how many there are around them. This would have been useful to know. Bloody, bloody useful. My time spent trying to clear a Skink path could have been spent simply running. At least I found this out before the end of the blasted league. Oh Paul, you blithering idiot)

As my cage gradually deteriorated, by ball Skink was brought down within touchdown range and the ball scattered free. My only chance to score this half was to run a Skink into the endzone and attempt a pass to him with another. Skinks can’t pass, their arms are basically wooden spoons with claws. The crowd went silent; the ball was successfully picked up and thrown but the catch failed. What would have been a nice, dramatic end to the first half wasn’t. C’est la vie, as Lizardmen probably don’t say. No score, not enough rats injured.

Tom – Whew, that was close, good thing Skinks can’t pass.

Paul’s central cage actually worried me a little there, it didn’t move very fast but it was hard to break down, and his Skinks pulled off some quality dodging (it turned out I didn’t understand Stunty properly either, and was marking them in vain). With him receiving next half he could hold onto the ball for a long time, I won’t feel comfortable till I get another point on the board.

Good thing I haven’t got anyone injured yet.

HALF TIME

Paul -I was receiving again because I kicked at the start and decided to draw a line under the previous half’s lack of any success whatsoever, and continue my policy of heavy ball defence and attempted rat mutilation. Again, the cage was soon surrounded and punching ensued with a little more success this time, but no forward movement; I still wasn’t taking out enough rats to give me the space to drive. Tom managed to wheedle a rat close enough to knock down my ball carrier with it somehow managing to land in the meaty hands of a Saurus. “Hah, now try and get the ball, fiend!” I gurgled to myself before a rat knocked him over and the ball went slipping around the clumsy lizards for a while before landing on the ground. Nnnnrghmmph.

Tom – Lizardmen can’t pick up the ball, this is the policy I’ve been working on here. By forcing the knockdown, even if it ends my own turn to do so, I’m forcing them to try and catch or pick up. This resulted in the ball not once, but twice, pinballing hilariously around Paul’s cage. Once falling to a Saurus, which alarmed me as it forced me to, for the only time in the game, make a block in which the opponent picked the result from the two dice. Thankfully I rolled double pows on this occasion and knocked the ball free again.

Paul - I made space for a Skink pick-up but this failed, the ball was free again and the gutter runners did what they do best and snatched it up, running it all the way back towards my endzone. Two Skinks bravely delayed the touchdown with a tackle but, without support, the inevitable inevitably inevited. 2 – 0.

Tom - This was a terrific passage of play for me, with several players really showing off their strengths, my attempt block away the skink standing next to the ball failed repeatedly, so instead I pushed him into the ball, knocking it away from the melee, at which point Neitszcheese scooped up the ball, ran around the edge of the melee and handed off to Voltail, who ran clear deep in Paul’s half.

Two Skinks swooped to intercept knocking Voltail down and picking up the ball, but Gutter Runners swarmed downfield in support. The offending Skink was quickly floored and Pythagorat quickly grabbed the ball and nipped into the endzone for a second goal. With three turns left to score two goals Paul is now effectively screwed. I only hope I don’t get too badly hurt.

Paul – Right, caging and punching: take 3. By this stage I had taken out two rats and another KO’ed (kinda the situation I wanted before the beginning of the second half really) so I played a little more fluidly, running skinks up with less sauri support. This didn’t work very well either and my ball skink was soon beaten to the ground. Another injured rat allowed me the space to recover the ball, make a pass and actually score a face-saving touchdown in turn 16!

Tom - All fairness to Paul, he deserved something from this match and by this point I was glad to let him have it rather than risking my rats on a desperate defence. One nice moment for me in this section was when  a lone Saurus was surrounded by Gutter Runners, letting Blitzer Aratstottle charge in and send him to the sickbay with a brutal block.

Paul - All that was left, and endless credit to Tom for doing so, was for a gutter runner to make an utterly futile charge with the ball towards my endzone, a distance which he couldn’t even reach, tripping over and ending the game in style. So, not a great start, but I’ve learned a few things, by golly. Oh yes, be wary the rest of you, I’m a-coming.

Tom – It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway, this was a great result for me, not only did I get a win on the board but I also avoided injury (one of my linerats will miss the next game, that’s all) and netted a fair few skill points. Of particular note is Saurus maimer Aratstottle, who got picked up the MVP award to give him a level up. Strip Ball or Mighty Blow? Decisions, decisions.