GD Bloodbowl League – Week 5

By: Tom Hatfield

Published: April 20, 2010 Posted in: Bloodbowl League
Bloodbowl wk5 - Punt 3

That’s all she wrote folks, the first historic season of the GD league has come to a close, so it’s time to do a final wrap up post and announce what’s happening in the future.

Below, as ever, are the results, the table and an announcement about where we go next, followed by a match report of my game against SAeN.


Ed and Chimp have not actually played their final game yet, but as their result isn’t really going to change the positioning I’ve gone ahead done the wrap up anyway giving us all the next couple of days while they finish up to think things over.

Bravescales (Mike) 1:1 Ultramegasaurus (Arsewisely)

No Punt Intended (SAeN) 0:3 The Philosorats (Dante)

Eringrad Eagles (Chimp) P:P Casual Cottagers (EGTF)

League Table:

So the final table looks like this (Chimp and Ed can get more points, but it won’t change the order).

1. Bravescales 11
2. The Philosorats 10
2. Ultramegasaurus 10
4. Casual Cottagers 5
5. Eringrad Eagles 1
6. No Punt Intended 1

Congratulations to Mike, who takes the title in style, and commiserations to Paul, who finished level on points with me but apparently had less touchdown difference or whatever it is that the positioning is worked out on (could be alphabetical for all I know). The surprise package of the league was undoubtedly Ed, who presented a stern challenge despite playing the oft derided Goblins. Unlucky were Chimp and SAeN, whose poor starts and unfortunate scheduling blip left their teams undeveloped, meaning they trailed behind.

The Future:

Now that season one has come to an end (technically) we’re presented with some choices going forwards. Since no-one appeared to be too attached to their team, and some had the desire to try something different I’m going to start a new league so as not to penalise Chimp and SAeN.

We’ve had no new takers so far, but you’ve got a few days to sign up if you’re interested, this is your last chance though, so double time people.

I’m going to make the rules a little tighter this time, it might seem restrictive at first, but I think it will result in a more fun league in the long run. Last time we had two Lizard teams, which meant nearly half the matches we all played were against a single kind of foe, in such a small league I’d like to enforce some variety, so I’m going to ask that we all play a different team this time round.

How am I going to do this? I’m going to ask you all to note down in the comments the top three teams you want to play, in order. Then I’ll collate these and use my powers of executive decision making (plus a coin and a dice) to determine which of your three choices you get to play, so as to avoid duplication. This will hopefully keep the teams interesting while still meaning people get to play teams they want to (if you think this is overly autocratic please say so, after all if I’ve gone mad with power how will I tell?).

Here are my choices, as an example, I grew quite attached to the Philosrats so I think I’ll just plain recreate them and try again with the experience I’ve gained:

1: Skaven

2: Wood Elves

3: Dark Elves

Now if no-one else picks Skaven as number one I’m good to go, but if they do we dice off and I drop down to Wood Elves if I lost, simple enough? After all it wouldn’t be Bloodbowl if the dice didn’t betray you at some point.

Match Report:

Bloodbowl wk5 - Punt 2

I line up needing a win to secure second place here, and although SAeN’s had a terrible league he isn’t going to make it easy for me, Chaos teams can really mess Skaven up. An interesting note is that he’s apparently forgone boring but useful skills like Block and Sure Hands entire, preferring instead to load his teams up with cool mutations. His Claws won’t add much against me, as they negate heavy armour, which I simply don’t have, but the Beastman with the Prehensile Tail could cause my receivers some greif.

Kick Off

SAeN elects to receive, no doubt hoping to hold onto the ball as long as possible whilst kicking the crap out of me, my kick goes terribly wrong and he’s able to collect and cage up right in the centre, using his Chaos Warrior scrimmage line to protect the ball carrier. I can’t stand against them for brute force, so I use guile and carefully negate all his assisting players with gutter runners before Socrates runs in and knocks the ball loose, downing himself in the process. Shouldn’t be a problem, Chaos can’t pick up the ball, right?

Wrong, SAeN’s men smack me all over the shop and grab the ball with ease, but SAeN is following up nearly every block, even when it pulls men out of position, and the ball carrier isn’t as defended as he once was. A handy block from Socrates, who once again finds himself inexplicably in the thick of the action, slides him out of his protective cage, and he’s rapidly surrounded by Gutter Runners. I decide to simply avoid SAeN’s beefy Chaos warriors and dodge as many rats as possible away from them before one inevitably fails his roll and eats dirt.

SAeN inexplicably tries to hand off the ball under pressure though, and fluffs it, the ball is on the ground, but still surrounded by Chaos players, I cleverly block one of his Beastmen into the ball, knocking it free of markers, before grabbing it with Neitscheese, the only Gutter Runner yet to level up, and galloping clear.

At this point I’m struck by a dilemma, I can score with Neitzscheese right away and give SAeN four turns to score against me, eminently possible, or I can try and stall for a turn and hope he can’t score in three. All his players are well marked, so I go with the second option, he uses the opportunity to knock several players for six, but the marking is too good and no-one gets to Neitzscheese, who decides not to push his luck and scores the following turn.

Touchdown Philosorats!

I kick off again and SAeN stacks his line heavily, clearly hoping to cause early damage, the kick itself is short, if he picks it up he’s got an easy cage, if he doesn’t I could steal it before he knows what’s going on. He doesn’t, a really unlucky block gives me the quick advantage, and I use it to push his men away from the ball and scoop it up with Neitzscheese.

The right side of the pitch devolves into a nasty ruck, which I do surprisingly well in considering this is playing more to SAeN’s strengths, nevertheless he foes fell Neitszcheese, but the ball drops into the open and it’s a simple matter for Prato to scoop it up and hand it to Voltail, whose markers have been cleared already by Descartes. Voltail makes a single GFI roll and runs it into the endzone in the last turn of the half.

Touchdown Philosorats!


Half Time

Bloodbowl wk5 - Punt1

I’m comfortably in the lead now, and I haven’t even lost many players to injury, so I decide to test out my new movement ten runner. I leave Prato right up on the half way line hoping for an quick snap result at the kick off, that doesn’t happen, but SAeN does kick the ball out allowing my to hand it straight to Prato who dodges past the line and parks himself a single square from the endzone, only reachable by one Beastman. SAeN is understandably less amused than me with this, and so apparently is nuffle, as the first rat I send to support him fails his dodge and kisses the turf.

Bizarrely SAeN decides to block with his Chaos Warriors first, he gets away with it though and still gets his chance to blitz with Mily Tusk, his Prehensile Tailed sweeper. They go one to one and end up drawing, with Mily Tusk pushing Prato away from the endzone, but even with a Prehensile Tail in the mix Prato always had the advantage when dodging and runs cheeky circles around Mily Tusk before strolling into the endzone.

Touchdown Philosorats!

I kick the ball off the field from the restart, allowing SAeN to hand to ball directly to a Chaos Warrior and form a tough cage in the middle of the pitch. At this point I could probably have just backed off and let him trundle forwards, but hubris got the better of me and I conspired to break it. This didn’t really go to plan, the innate high Strength of the Warrior making him a tough prospect to block I repeatedly tried to slide him out of the cage, but failed to capitalise, meanwhile he put a Linerat in hospital for this game and the next.

Eventually SAeN put enough Skaven on the floor to break free, and charged down the pitch, his Chaos Warrior managed to fight his way to within two squares of the touchline with only a Gutter Runner between him and what he informed me to be his first touchdown of the entire league. I had some men further back but they’d have to make GFIs and Dodges to get there, he was odds on to score.

Game Crashes, Full Time

Man, I don’t know what SAeN did to piss off the random number Gods but they just weren’t letting him have this one, the game froze while it was trying to figure out one of his blocks. When it became apparent one of us would have to quit, SAeN graciously did so as I was going to win anyway, for this, and being good humoured during some truly terrible results I award him the league’s Good Sportsmanship Award.


I’ll probably be deleting the Philosorats soon, but they had a good run, Neitszcheese levelled, becoming the third Gutter Runner to get Block. Meanwhile the winnings upped my coffers to 150,000 gold, which when my winnings from second come in will give me enough money to purchase a Rat Ogre.

I’ll probably be deleting the Philosorats soon, so he won’t see a match, but nonetheless I’m happy to be able to introduce…



Tom Hatfield