GD Bloodbowl League – Week 2

By: Tom Hatfield

Published: March 28, 2010 Posted in: Bloodbowl League
Bloodbowl  wk2 - Eagles 1

Well the results are in and the second week of Bloodbowl games has come to a close and things are hotting up. The following post contains results, league table, fixtures and a match report from my game against Chimp.

NB: You can now find all posts on the Bloodbowl league neatly categorised by going to ‘Game Reports – Bloodbowl League’ from the menu bar above. Ideal for anyone who came to this series a little late.


Once again anyone who wants to describe their games in the comments below is welcome, nay encouraged, to do so.

The Philosorats (Dante) 2:1 Eringrad Eagles (Chimp)

Ultramegasaurus (Arsewisely) 3:0 No Punt Intended (SAeN)

Bravescales (Mike) 2:2 Casual Cottagers (EGTF)

League Table:

Fairly basic now, but hopefully a source of tension in the future. It’s also worth pointing out that I have no idea what criteria is used if a team ties for top spot, as goal difference isn’t mentioned on the in game table.

  1. The Philosorats                6
  2. Casual Cottagers            4
  3. Bravescales                     4
  4. Ultramegasaurus            3
  5. Eringrad Eagles               0
  6. No Punt Intended             0


Once again I’m going to ask everyone to get these done by Monday at the latest in the hopes that we can keep the league moving briskly. Let me know if that’s a problem for you and we’ll work something out.

The next round looks to be exciting, Chimp and SAeN have been unlucky so far, but at least one is destined to get points on the board as they face off. Meanwhile Mike will be looking to leapfrog me to the top of the table, while Ed faces off against Paul, who could move up to second if results go his way.

Bravescales (Mike) vs The Philosorats (Dante)

No Punt Intended (SAeN) vs Eringrad Eagles (Chimp)

Ultramegasaurus (Arsewisely) vs Casual Cottagers (EGTF)

Match Report:


In the end I decided to pick Stip Ball for my Blitzer and immediately regretted it. I tend to hit the ball carrier with whoever is handy rather than using a specific player, and Mighty Blow or Guard could have given me some much needed muscle around the pitch.

This week I’m facing off against Chimp’s humans, who lost their first game against Mike’s Lizards due to severe attrition. Chimp has historically played bashy teams, and he’s lined up with a single catcher and thrower, instead fielding as many Blitzers as possible, so I’m more than a little worried as to how my squishy Skaven will stand up to the punishment.

Chimp elects to receive first, presumably hoping to gradually bash his way down the field, leaving me with a minimum of players left to counter with. I carefully arrange my players in formation to form a strong resistance without putting opening them up to too many blocks, since humans actually have a throwing game I also leave a single linemen in the backfield as a sweeper.

Kick Off

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My kick falls distressingly short, dropping right in the middle of their formation where he catcher easily scoops it up. This is actually a mistake, Chimp hasn’t played the throwing game a lot so he’s simply grabbed the ball with the nearest player, instead he could have rushed his catcher into my backfield and grabbed the ball with his thrower, giving him the option to pass the ball down field if I don’t mark him adequately. He then spends a long time deciding what to do, not a great idea when our league is on a two minute turn clock (I’ve played in four minute leagues before, the matches take forever) before moving his catcher to the left and forming an ad hoc cage around him.

His cage proves no match for the mobility of my gutter runners though, who move into position to neutralise his assistance, leaving my Blitzer an open path to hit his catcher, whose low strength gives me a two dice block, down he goes and the ball slips free.

Chimp shows off his bashy heritage by blocking first thing, something I’m usually shy to do myself, but it works and two Gutter Runners end up on the floor before his thrower runs in to pick up the ball… and fails, even after his free re-roll. Sure Hands, a suggestion, not a promise.

I block a couple of players away from the ball, but Gutter Runner Prato still needs to grab the ball out from under his catcher (re-roll required) and dodge away before parking himself a square from the endzone. Chimp suggests I should go for it at this point, but I decide that the chances of him catching me are low enough not to risk tumbling over in the endzone.

Chimp decides that violence is the best response at this juncture and surrounds poor Neitszcheese before stomping him so hard he goes out for the next two matches, that’s gonna hurt. Thankfully he rolls badly on a block with one of his mercenaries, whose loner skill eats a re-roll with no benefit. At this point I could probably dawdle for an extra turn or two and give Chimp less time to score, but in the end I don’t dare risk more maiming, and take only a couple of easy blocks before rushing Prato home.

Touchdown Philosorats!

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My second kick off is much better, landing well towards the back of the field. Chimp responds by charging two players down field to knock down a Gutter Runner and then goes for a simple pick up… and fails, his Thrower’s hands are, I have to say, less than sure.

This gives me an opening, since there aren’t many players in place around the ball, sadly Chimp has knocked the ball towards his own goal line, so I can’t attempt a pick up in his half, but I can rush both standing Gutter Runners fowards and put tackle zones on the ball, making him work to pick it up. What I don’t do, which I should have, is mark his remaining players with my linerats, forcing him to dodge to get back to help his thrower out. His bloodlust has worried me a little, so I keep my men back, forcing him to blitz in order to hit me, I also work move a couple of players left, one of his Linemen is standing dangerously close to the touchline, I’m hoping to hit him out of play so he won’t be able to come back on this drive.

I’ve left a hole in my line though, and Chimp gladly runs his catcher through it before moving the rest of his players back to cage around the ball, blocking my Gutter Runners in the process. This time his thrower finally holds onto the ball before running down field and throwing towards the catcher. Thankfully for me it goes wide, but that still puts him in a strong position in my half. Thankfully my thrower is in a position to get to it, unfortunately he seems to have caught ‘Sure Hands syndrome’ from Chimp’s Thrower, and fumbles it badly. Chimp then knocks down any player nearby and goes to get the ball himself… and fumbles, did someone grease this thing before the match?

Okay, so there’s one turn left and the ball is deep in my half, but I’ve got a plan, if my Thrower can get his hands on the ball I can throw it without a target, essentially just hoofing the ball up field in the general direction of one of my Gutter Runners, then I hope I can get to it first, or at least that he won’t score from it. The first part goes well, but in my panic I’ve failed to notice the path of the ball leave an interception chance, which is duly taken by one of Chimp’s Linemen.

At this point Chimp has one chance to score, run the ball down to his catcher, hand off and run it in, but bizarrely he doesn’t take it, he’s misread the turn counter and thinks he has a turn left, so he moves the Lineman down to score himself losing his chance. Nevertheless one of my Linerats manages to hurt himself on the last block of the half.

Half Time

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Now I get to receive, much like the last game I think if I can score quickly here I can relax, Chimp is unlikely to get two touchdowns in four or five turns. The bad news is that I’m running out of rats, with only nine players left to score with, if I don’t do it soon I won’t have the personnel to run a play. Chimp kicks short so I grab the ball with my thrower, protect him with a couple of Blitzers and run my Gutter Runners forwards to act as receivers. Let’s try this throwing game I’ve heard so much about.

Chimp marks my receivers fairly well, but at least one gets free, I decide to put him in the endzone and go for the long pass, which is usually the better option to a short pass and run if you’re marked (marking takes down your catch chance). The first part goes well, unfortunately my Thrower fails his dodge and spills the ball in Chimp’s half, crap. Then Chimp goes for the pickup and fails it immediately, crap for him, awesome for me. I surround the ball with my heavy hitters and bring Voltail back from the endzone to pick the ball up, he’s now only a short dash from scoring. Opposing players swarm towards the cage but mostly on the strong side, and a couple of choice blocks let Voltail make a quick dodge and run down the flank for a quick score.

Touchdown Philosorats!

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The game is effectively over now, barring a riot result there’s no way Chimp’s going to score twice in four turns, I can only hope to survive his retaliation until the clock runs out. The kick goes deep into his half, and he responds once more by rushing forwards and hitting a Gutter Runner, even re-rolling to ensure he puts him down, this time it works and Pythagorat is out for the rest of the match, eight players.

Common sense should tell me to take it easy now, but hell there’s only one way for Skaven to defend, and that’s by attacking. Chimp has yet to pick up the ball, so both remaining Gutter Runners charge into his territory in order to make life difficult for him. I form up everyone else on the line and manage to put most of his team out, but frustratingly none of them are injured. In fact I’ve failed register as much as a knockout on the injury roll all game.

Chimp pulls back most of his players from the melee at this point, realising that he can’t let me stop him from getting the ball, this lack of numbers doesn’t hamper him though, and he puts out another Linerat for the match, badly hurt, seven players on the pitch. This is followed by fouling Prato till he’s knocked out, six players left. With so few players left standing I’m forced to attack his thrower despite being a dice down, and predictably end up on the floor. Chimp easily moves down the right flank, now devoid of players, and makes a simple pass for a touchdown.

Touchdown Eagles!

With only one turn left, the kick registers a pitch invasion and the disatisfied fans beat the crap out of half the players. A fitting end.


Chimp gets royally screwed on the takings, making only 10k, meanwhile I rake in a tasty 60k, which means I’ll have a second thrower (Lucratious), and twelve men again for the next match (thankfully only one of my injuries carried over). Meanwhile each of my Gutter Runners has now scored once, but Voltial grabs an MVP award as well and picks up a level, which will probably be block, making him very hard to put down.

Next week, more pesky Lizards, have fun everyone!

Tom Hatfield