So, opting to let Games for Windows Live run the multiplayer aspect of your multiplayer indie game is a little like a wannabe model willingly disfiguring herself with the heel of a Primark stiletto.
Which is what Zombie have decided to do with Blacklight: Tango Down.
Now, I’m not one who enjoys venomously kicking the crap out of a review title, especially those from indie devs, so I shall employ a middle-management strategy unofficially called the ‘shit sandwich’, whereby criticism (the shit filling), is buffered with comforting praise (the bread) on either side.
Problem is, there’s barely enough bread in Blacklight for a single slice, so instead we’ll have to settle for “shit on toast”, or maybe even “shit with a bit of breadstick next to it”. I suppose we’ll eat the breadstick first.
It is an OK multiplayer FPS. All the typical match types: deathmatch, team deathmatch, take and hold, capture the flag and so on, are present in their various guises, ready to be fought over by some near-futuristic, extremely heterosexual space marine types. Blacklight’s gimmick involves hitting V to activate wallhackovision via your futuristic space marine helmet, allowing you to see enemies through walls for a few seconds during which you are unable to shoot, such are the technological restrictions of the near-future. This is The One Thing That Makes Blacklight A Bit Different.
The Digi Grenade messes up your helmet’s, erm.. camera, or something? Whatever, it’s just a smoke-bomb, ok. Also reminiscent of a migraine.
There are four classes (at which you can guess in the comments, the correct answer wins some tat from my desk) with customisable weapon loadouts and solid enough gunfighting. Damage modelling is ‘realistic’, meaning a few shots will kill, which I rather liked for keeping the fire-fights short and furious; the first person to get caught out, fail to flip to secondary upon reloading or otherwise zig when they should have zagged, will usually come off worse.
Well done Blacklight: Tango Down. You are competent.
Competent but blisteringly insufficient to merit wading through the quagmire of liquid frustration that is the GfWL matchmaking system. You can only quick start to join the (locally hosted) servers, which takes an age:
press quick start, wait, nothing happens, cancel, fiddle around in menu screen, game inexplicably flips to loading screen, wait… wait… dropped into game lobby, “waiting for players [4] needed”, wait… wait… enter game, “host migrating – loading…”, vomit blood, wait…
With no server lists, and a mandatory “game type” filter on the Quick Start, there’s no way to simply drop into the busiest server, which is pretty essential for a game so few people seem to be playing. I can only assume Quick Start is a devastatingly ironic joke on the part of the devs, as GfWL guarantees a substantial wait to begin playing – and an even longer wait for anything but deathmatch, team deathmatch or domination which seem to be the only modes at all populated.
A Dramatic Gunfight.
Other features hopelessly flung against the wall of fundamental unusability like tiny kittens, include a levelling system with unlockable perks and equipment. I generally dislike this kind of shtick in my FPSs unless handled in such a way that the unlocks bestow no great advantage upon the experienced, rather a wider array of options and ways to do things; COD4 did this quite well, for example. Blacklight does not do this well.
At level two or three I was on a server with a single, level twenty-something player on the opposite team. Such were his weapon and accuracy buffs that I couldn’t even leave the spawn point without being killed in a flash. Even with wallhackovision to pinpoint him I stood absolutely no chance of landing any meaningful damage. I’ve also been in games where two high level players were able to trounce a team of five low-to-mid level opponents. In effect, the game feels broken.
Looking through a wall. Searching for reason and sanity.
‘Tags’ are also unlocked with gained experience, which offer bonuses to your weapons. They resemble little key chains: skulls, beer cans and the like, that dangle from the side of your gun. They are, as the game explains, trinkets often favoured by special forces to personalise their weapons. Yes. Or the thing Japanese schoolgirls like to do to their mobiles phones. A bizarre design decision, and quirkiness for which I have no patience after waiting SO COCKING LONG TO SIMPLY JOIN A SERVER.
Add to this visual insipidness, in-game ATI ads and a main menu screen including confusingly redundant options to go to the Windows Live store or “redeem a product code” and I’ve had just about enough.
If you want to play a bland future-noir multiplayer FPS go and play FEAR’s which at least has a far better client, or play something similar but free and innovative like Neotokyo. Just, don’t pay money for this. Or I’ll be sorely tempted to come round your house and cuff you.
Today is a bad day for games reviews. And what is it to be “cuffed”?
I wouldn’t ask.
Isn’t it where you get whacked on the back of the head?
Also, if there is a prize for the guessing of classes, my guesses are soldier, engineer, scout and medic.
Soldier, demo, heavy, sniper is my guess
I’ll show you what a cuff is on Saturday Craig.
Woah, woah. Both those suggestions are far too exciting – you need to simplify your thinking.
Man 1, man 2, man 3, man 4
No classes?
slightly more sophisticated.
Custom class 1, Custom class 2, Custom class 3, Custom class 4
Actually Craig was pretty close – only one wrong. He’d have three white pegs in Mastermind or something.
Pyro, Spy, Sniper, Soldier.
In that order.
I KNOW I’M RIGHT!
No, hopelesses. Blacklight actually has the eye-wateringly exciting selection of sub-machine gun, assault rifle, machine gun and sniper. Marvel at their vast differences.
Is that what they actually call them? How fucking bland.
Well, the machinegun is actually called “LMG”, perhaps to highlight just how similar it is to an assault rifle, and in fairness, there’s a shotgun class as well which I completely forgot about.
Man, classes just shouldn’t be named after their weapon. What if they run out of ammo and pick something up from the floor? Do they have an identity crisis and surrender?
before you start bashing this game do you realize it costs only 15 quids right? I mean you keep thinking about what this game should offered instead of what it actually gives you, for that price I’d say its worth it, is basically the money you spend going to a watch movie, and are you forgetting they are not charging for the maps, 15 quids a map pack? sounds familiar? i rest my case
Blacklight is actually £9.99 and it’s not worth that either when you can play free mods that are better. Also, here are some other games that you can get for under ten pounds:
SimCity 4 Delux Edition
Civilisation IV
Company of Heros, Opposing Fronts
Titan Quest
Dawn of War Dark Crusade
Medieval II Total War
STALKER
Saints Row II
Chaos Theory
Max Payne 1 and 2
Rainbow 6 Vegas 2
Penumbra Collection
Darwinia and Multiwinia
Half Life 2
And this is just from Steam – not new games sure, but they are good games for the price, and they work.
Blacklight would be a rubbish game if it were free, they are still asking people to invest their time into it (which will be mostly spent waiting to connect to servers) – a low cost doesn’t give a game carte blanche to be crap.
Jesus Christ, £15 for a movie? How overpriced is your local cinema?
I hate to add on to this, but price should never be a factor in how good a game is.
Prices are an attempt to pigeonhole a game’s value based on an arbitrarily huge number of factors (production values, other game prices, sales…). But I think they fail at doing exactly that.
I don’t know if I agree with that – imagine if Killing Floor cost £100, or Modern Warfare cost £1.
This is what I get for trying to shorten my posts. D:
I was unclear about what I exactly meant. I agree, obviously those prices are on opposite ends of ridiculous. There is indeed a perceived value from the creator and also a perceived value from the customer, both of which are sometimes pretty arbitrary. Some people might pay hundreds of dollars for Spelunky, yet Derek Yu had it released for free (granted, not the best case because it was part of a game compo, but he could have charged SOMETHING for it).
TL;DR, I wrote too quick.
Personally I think that price is a factor that is subjective to the consumer. To some people £30 is expensive, to others it’s an average price for a game, not to mention that prices will change depending on time and where you’re buying from.
As reviewers we can say if we think something is value for money or not, but in general I think it’s best if we just cover how good the game is, maybe mention the price if it’s especially expensive or cheap. We’ll tell you how good it is, it’s up to you to decide personally if it’s good enough for the price.
After all, a film critic tells you how good the film is, then it’s up to you to decide if that’s worth whatever your local cinema charges (apparently way too much if you’re hayao).
well at least its nice to have a civilized discussion on the subject