Ladies and gentlemen it falls on me to make this announcement, Gaming Daily as we know it has come to an end.
We all knew this day was coming, we just didn’t want to face it, but now we’re finally going to have to. PC gaming is dead. Oh we’ve tried to order the tide to roll back, but we all know we’re doomed. Let’s be honest, can any recent PC game match the artistic tour de force that is Wii Fit? Of course not, we were deluding ourselves think we could create even a pale shadow of it’s greatness.
Not that past PC games weren’t great, but hey, honestly, we’ve never really gotten any better than Betrayal at Krondor have we? We all know why this is of course.
It’s the pirates.
Despite the crusading efforts of publishers and DRM makers, the simple fact is that the average gamer is a disgusting thief who can’t be trusted not to steal anything not digitally nailed down and then set fire to what’s left. I know it, you know it, Ubisoft know it.
So it’s with great pride, if a little regret that I announce to you that from today Gaming Daily will be relaunched as Console Daily (a wholly owned subsidiary of Activision Blizzard, available exclusive through Playstation 3, requires constant online connection to view, if your connection falters while viewing the accumulated words will be wiped painlessly from your mind)
I hope you can join me in making this new site all it can truly be.
Aaargh, not another one! Seriously… about three quarters of the sites I visit seem to have chosen today of all days to throw in the towel. I swear, it’s like some kind of blog-style failure cascade.
Someone better sling me a DS or something, there’s only so much I can write about my last console purchase, Resident Evil 4 on the Gamecube.
Guess it’s back to the Amiga for me, then.
What’s that? I can’t hear you over Jet Set Radio Future on my old fat Xbox.
*digs out wii fit*
…
*looks resentful*
I swear you posted this after noon.
OH NOES.
Well, I’ve got Chrono Trigger on the DS. That’s still a good game.
PC GAMING DIED TODAY! A painful slow death it was indeed.
Being a sellout is great. My monthly wage has gone up 4000%!
Fuck it, make it 5 million%
My Adventure Game Studio sponsorship seems like peanuts now that I’m getting paid £100p/h walking around town with a God of War III tattoo on my forehead.
Why didn’t (NINTENTDO) anyone tell me being a shill was so (MARIO) much fun? All we (ZELDA) had to do was (SAMUS) give up our standards and dignity, plus maniuplate others with (POKEMON) subliminal advertising in (THE HOLOCAUST NEVER HAPPENED) exchange for money.