You know what every good gaming site needs? Why a god-damn Top ___ list. Sometimes reading an elegantly crafted review or games wankery piece is a tad too much when you’re feeling lazy, leading you to open up that flash game/twitter home page/pornography that you have up on your other tabs instead. So here’s a nice easy list of what I consider to be the top five gaming songs, for which you can easily open up that mystic comments box at the bottom of the page and rip into me for.
5) Mercenaries 2 – “Oh No You Didn’t”
Sad fact: I have this on a cd I regularly listen to in my car. Mercenaries Two wasn’t a brilliant game even, which I doubt anyone but me played on the pc. So why is this song coming straight in at number five you may ask? Well firstly, I think it’s a good song. Pre-firstly, everytime I listen to it I think of this video; about a man taking the mickey but also kicking ass at street fighter as Dan. Cut to 6:28 for the song with clips, but the rest of the video is pretty chuckle worthy itself.
4) Limbo of the Lost – “KINGGGGG OF LIMBOOOOO”
Have I gone mad? For those of you who forgot or simply weren’t aware, Limbo of the Lost was an infamous game that plagiarised an impressive number of its components. As I want to waste more of your time, I’ve really got to reccomend you read the full playthrough here to understand how bad the game is, and how many resources were ripped off. This ending quite literally comes out of nowhere, with no indication or explanation as to why (WARNING: in some cases exposure to this video has been known to cause mild brain dribble).
3) Total Distortion – “YOU ARE DEAD”
This is a great song that used to play every time you died in Total Distortion. The catch? Well you can’t skip it. While I imagine this would drive people insane, it’s an extra incentive to not friggin die. I can understand why some jaded gamers accuse modern titles of too much hand holding; imagine Half-Life if you were punished at each death by the G-Man having a 2 minute piano solo mocking you for your bravado and general suckiness on par with Portal’s “Still Alive” song. But you could never skip it. EVER. Speaking of Portal…
2) Portal – “Still Alive”
If you don’t know about this song already then picture me with one eyebrow firmly raised in puzzlement. It’s been done to death in gaming circles, but it is still a bloody good song that’s a perfect end to a near perfect game. ‘Nuff said. But wait, it’s not number one? Then what holy gaming grail has taken the top spot? Why it can only be…
1) You Have To Burn the Rope – “Credits”
Now you’re a hero, you managed to finish the whole damn list. I’m happy you made it, but how’re you going to spend the rest of the day? Maybe read and comment a gaming daily article, maybe click this link and play the game.
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