You will have to excuse the title. I did a presentation once about violence in videogames which I titled ‘Fluffy guns’ because while guns in videogames are still violent, they don’t actually hurt anyone – therefore are ‘fluffy’. Anyway. Here is part 1 of the run down of what I consider to be the best weapons in gamingdom. They may not be the most powerful or exciting, but they all have something a bit special about them.
10. Desert Eagle – Far Cry 2
The Desert Eagle is just a cool gun in general. It’s had brilliant implementations in several games – Call of Duty 4, Far Cry 1, Counter Strike: Source, and Max Payne to name a few. The one you get in Far Cry 2 though is just extra nice. It looks ace, it sounds ace, and it’s my weapon of choice for executing someone when it’s too late for a silenced approach.
9. RCP90 – Goldeneye
A massive clip, ridiculous rate of fire and a quick reload time. We always used to play 1 hit kills on Goldeneye as well, so if you had this, you could guarantee a decent score. It made you into something like a walking death machine from Deathstreet, Deathsville.
8. Pipe Bomb – Left 4 Dead
Whether you use it because you are swarmed or as a precautionary measure because you are about to be swarmed; the pipe bomb is your friend. Instantly attracting all of your troublesome local zombies then exploding them in a fountain of gore and giving you around 10 seconds of peace, the pipe bomb is an extraordinarily fun explodey device to use.
7. Single Silenced Silverballer – Hitman: Blood Money
Some might see this as a bit of a dull weapon. It’s just a pistol with a silencer right? I’m even taking the second optional pistol out. Well, yes, all this is true but irrelevant. This weapon has made for some of the coolest kills I could ever ask for. Just casually walking up your target, pulling it out, firing point blank into the targets head, re-holstering then walking off silently and undetected. Utterly cool every time.
6. Dual Berettas – Max Payne 1/2
It’s all well and good having long coats and bullet time but it’s nothing without a pair of Berettas. Even when better guns were available I always turned to these as they just looked and felt so good – diving through a door in slow-motion with these firing is one of those times you can’t help but smile and think how good it is to be a gamer.
5. Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
Do I need to say anything about this? It creates portals. Think about that sentence. It creates portals.
4. Laptop Gun – Perfect Dark
Do you remember the suitcase Bond got off Q in one of the early films? It had some money in it, a couple of gas canisters and I think it could fire a shot. Someone took that idea and multiplied the ace-ness by a factor of 100. Change suitcase to laptop, change gas canisters to being able to transform into an assault rifle, change single shot to transforming to a sentry gun that can stick to walls. What a ridiculous yet awesome bit of kit.
Top 3 – after the break
That just leaves the top 3 then. It’s like the adverts in those stupid “top 100 comedies of the 90’s” shows which doesn’t finish until 2 in the morning but you’ve seen half of it so now you need to know what wins – even though you don’t really care. Anyway, one of the top 3 is completely predictable, but I doubt anyone will guess what the other two are. Feel free to sound off your predictions below though – guessing the top 3 wins you the prize of a great big “Well done” from me.
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good post.. I cant actually think of any guns deserving of top 3dom.. i did used to like the alien gun in the PD pic tho.. shoot through walls, heat signature – ace.
I suppose i would go for molatov (L4D/Farcry 2), rocket launcher (GTA4) – nothing like causing things to blow up :), may be the Bigdaddy gun from fallout 3 – mini nukes? who wouldn’t!
You score 0/3
The picture of Perfect Dark you have there also has Shigeru Miyamoto’s face on one of the characters.
Don’t forget there’s a Desert Eagel in San Andreas, I know how much you love that game.
Top 3 Gun Quiz – Hmm.
BFG9000 – If that’s not there well….
There’ll be a Sniper Rifle from one game or another, always my favourite. I’m a sneaky camper see.
Reaper from Gears of War? It has a Chainsaw attached!
No dice again I’m afraid. Remember this is best weapons – not just guns[/hint]
I will be amazed if anyone guesses 2 of them.
Oh and San Andreas? *spits*
hmmm combat knife? (tf2, css, etc) portal maker aint really a weapon is it, well in on its own.. more like an assist to make things drop on people.
Scathis? or we only talking hand held weaponry?
On that basis you can discount a gun being a weapon as it may not have any bullets…
We may or may not be talking hand help weaponry. I’m not going to say any more about it until the big reveal…
Hmm Crowbar, from HL series, ermm barret from CoD 4 and your mind from second sight ;D
Barrett fails in comparison to the first sniper you get and that’s not in there, so…no.
ahh but was the other two right? :P lmao hmm i have suspisons my MIND will be in there somewhere :P
Ooh, there’ll be some spells then from Oblivion, Final Fantasy or some RPG.
The Master Sword from Zelda?
Lightsaber, depending on your geekdom…
Oh god, I’m going to cause controversy….
you usually do…
either way its your top ten, not ours lol
I’ve gotta do more of this type of stuff – look at the discussion it’s created.Tex said he literally couldn’t wait to find out what wins…
On the other hand, I’m scared of what people’s reactions may be – you’ve all made me doubt my decisions dam it!
haha! i would probly but the sedative needle from hitman in there..
maybe the lawn mower from dead rising (xbox 360.. I no, i no..) that was quite fun!
um.. flamethrower from tf2… and the wierd “bolt of lightning from my hands” from bioshock..
… experimental nuke launcher in fallout 3 8 minni nukes at once. nuffsaid!