Skip Muldoon – A fat ship captain of a steamliner currently cruising the Mississippi river. He has an entourage of bodyguards with him – 7 guys in fact. They all have guns. Big guns. I need to kill the lot. 6 guys, plus their captain, on a ship, causing as little commotion as possible.
The tranquil river lazily meanders below the boat as it cruises onwards. The bottom deck that I’m standing on has a few guards wandering around, not really paying me any attention. Little do they know that my jacket is filled with tools of death. Fiber wire, a syringe of full of deadly poison, another syringe loaded with non-leathal sedative, a rather large and fully silenced sub machine gun, and my ultimate tool – a solitary silenced pistol. I head from the main deck up some stairs, into a lobby, up some more stairs then into a little social room with a bar. It’s full of commoners – fat middle-aged southerners no doubt on some pathetic attempt at a holiday or something. I pay these little attention as they are not targets nor are they going to be useful in getting to my targets. At the back of this room is a door which leads into another room with another bar, but a much better standard of guest.
There are tuxedoed men and finely dressed women who all look like they have money. One of the gentlemen pulls me to one side and asks me to send a waiter his way if I see one. I just nod and walk off towards the back of the room where there is another door, but this one is guarded. As I approach I’m told I’m not permitted through – that is a strictly VIP area. Not wanting to cause a scene I walk off for now and head back to the lobby. At some point I’m going to need to get through that door.
In the lobby is a rather large door that leads into a corridor that spans the length of the ship. Towards the back I can make out a guy getting busy with some woman. A quick look at my intel tells me he’s actually one of the bodyguards I’m going to need to execute so I perversely stand around and watch what they do. After a few seconds they see me watching so head into a room to be alone. The door is locked via keycard stopping me from just walking in so I dutifully stand outside and wait for an opportunity. Suddenly a scream from inside of “keep it in your pants” rings out, shortly followed by the woman walking out and leaving the door open. Opportunity has arisen. I creep in to the room as the bodyguard is staring out of a window. Softly softly I creep up to him then shove a needle full of death into his neck. I don’t really have anywhere to move this body to so I just leave it on the floor and turn the light off.
With one guy dead I go in search of finding a way to get to the rest of the guards. I continue down the corridor and through a door into what is seemingly rooms for the better classed clientèle. Manning this area is a sort of bell-boy and as there seems to be no one else around I should be able to sedate him and take his uniform without much of a problem. After standing around for a while he walks into the toilets, and rather pervertedly again, I follow him. As the guy walks into a cubicle and prepares himself I pull my sedative out of my jacket, creep behind him, then shove it into his neck. I can only presume at this point that there is urine flying everywhere but it’s not graphically represented. I steal the guys clothes and pilfer a Master Keycard from his jacket which should open all of these bedroom doors. An idea crosses my mind, if I can open the door opposite to the one I left that downed guard in I can move the body into another room to stop any of his co-guards or the woman he was with from possibly finding him. As I open the to door to the guards room a woman starts running towards me from inside it. Oh no, I was too late or on the other hand she was too early. Either way she needs shutting up so I pull out the silenced pistol and blast her in the head. She goes flying. I switch the light off again, shut the door and head back down the corridor – screw trying to sort that out.
Checking my map I can see another one of the guards is down in the engine room. There is a staircase that heads pretty much straight into it from the corridor and now that I’m disguised no one should stop me going in. I find the guy looking over some pretty dangerous looking machinery and everyone else has their back turned. A quick shove and he’s inside said machinery. Oops. Fortunately he either doesn’t make a noise or no one can hear the screams over the loud rumbling of the engine. Nice and easy for once.
The bottom two decks are now cleared of targets, the rest are all behind the VIP area and hopefully my current disguise will get me in. It doesn’t. As I approach the VIP doors I’m told to clear off, but as I start to walk out the guy from earlier who was after a waiter grabs me and asks me to take a bottle of champaign to his room and hands me a key. Well, I’m not going to be doing room service but I’ll more than happily take a snoop around his room. The room is opposite the toilets I took out the poor soul whose uniform I’m currently wearing in. When I go in I see a green card on a desk and a tux on the floor. The card is a VIP pass which I hastily take then head into the toilets to put my normal suit back on.
This time I’m let into the VIP area. There isn’t much going on in here to be honest – all of the targets are another floor above but there is a kitchen at the back which has a massive birthday cake in which is destined for the captain. To get into the kitchen I need a VIP waiters disguise. Another door from the VIP bar leads into a tiny room with two people playing cards along with a locked door that leads into a locker room for the staff which probably included a new uniform for me. The card players are refusing to leave but I don’t want to kill them, so try annoying them instead. I stand by the lightswitch and flick it on and off a few times. To my surprise the players actually get up and leave – leaving me to the locked door.
Inside the locker room is a VIP waiter uniform which I’m reluctant to wear. It looks ridiculous. It has shorts, long socks and a little fucking hat thing. I can’t kill people looking like this. Oh well, the life of an Assassin is rarely a glamorous one. Uniformed up I head into the kitchen and am told to take the cake up to Skip. Picking it up, I walk outside to the stairs that lead to the top deck and the captains cabin. On the way I drop the cake onto the floor and poison it. By the stairs there is a box that I can store guns in, and I can only presume I’m going to be searched on going into the cabin so I put all my guns in here apart from the silenced pistol which I somehow hide in the cake. As I do this a bodyguard comes down the stairs and just starts looking over the glistening river below us. I push him over the side.
Cake in hand I head up to the cabin. Indeed I am searched by a shotgun toting guard but he misses my cake-gun so I’m let inside. In the cabin it seems like a party gone bad with spilled beer bottles, tippes over chairs and I think the odd pool of vomit everywhere. The captains office is right at the back and as I go in he is wandering around drunk with another waiter standing in with him. I stand and wait until this extra waiter leaves then put the cake on Skips desk. It doesn’t take long for him to come over for a taste, and not long after that for him to fall to the floor poisoned. I still have a couple of bodyguards to take out now, but this shouldn’t be a problem. The only problem might be that extra waiter comes back and sees the body. I head out through a room added onto Skips office which the waiter went through and am presented with a locked door. As I start to pick it the waiter comes through the other side and wonders what I actually think I’m doing. He stands and stares at me for a long time. In fact, he doesn’t budge. After waiting for ages I think screw it and head back into the office.
A shot rings out and hits me in the gut. Thank fuck I’ve got body armour on. Some bodyguard has come back in, seen his dead boss then presumed I’m the killer just because I happen to be in the same room. Not wanting to waste time while being shot at I pull my gun and return the favour, but to his head. This has now got messy. My gun was silenced but his wasn’t. The main party room has a waiter cowering in it. He probably knows what happened so I’m left with no choice but to shoot him. I also have to go back for that waiter that saw me picking a lock – just in case. After these two I head into a bathroom at the front of the cabin next to where I came in.There is a body guard just casually taking a leak here so I can only presume he is none the wiser to all the violence around him. I wonder if he was aware when I shot him in the back of the head, probably spraying urine everywhere for the second time this evening. All that’s left now is to dispatch the guard with a shotgun that searched me on the way in which is easily done, and then I just need to escape.
Escaping just meant putting my suit back on, running past a load of guys in the engine room (they chased me because I wasn’t meant to be in there) and then jumping into a boat. OK, 10 dead, 3 of which didn’t need to be. The mission took around half an hour and my cover got blown once. No witnesses though so I get rated as ‘The Ghost’. All in all a successful mission I think, if not a little violent towards the end.
Related posts:
- I’m a cleaner – Mission 5
- Taking three little blackbirds out should be easy really – but when you start to...
- I’m an professional: Mission 7
- Since the last episode of I’m a cleaner my savegame has decided that in fact,...
- I’m a cleaner – Mission 9
- A deal is going down in Vegas. An Arab mob boss is exchanging a briefcase...
